Memories
by EliteDreamer
Summary: Jaina is haunted by vivid memories of the man she once loved..
1. Chapter 1

**Hello everyone! This is my first fanfic on here. I was inspired after having some really intense Arthas and Jaina feelings the other day. They happen to one of my favorite video game couples and I've always been drawn to their story and how tragic it is. I haven't seen much Jaina and Arthas fan fiction on here so I thought I'd give it a shot on my own.**

**This is my FIRST so PLEASE be gentle if you criticze. I'm in no way a professional writer so there will be errors. Please point them out to me as nicely as you can. **

**Originally, this was going to be a one-shot fic, but if people enjoy the first chapter I'll continue writing from there. Let me know. Thank you all!**

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Chapter 1- Thinking

Ice_._ I feel it on my skin. I feel it slowly crawl on every inch of my body. It burns, but I don't move. I let the pain intensify and I don't say a word. For some reason, I feel like I deserve this pain. I want to scream, I want to cry, but there is a knot in my throat and a never-ending sense of dread. I feel like I'm dying and I'm waiting, hoping, and praying that it will end soon. Suddenly, I feel the warmth of familiar arms around me. The chill around my body is gone and I feel safe and… happy. "I'm sorry, Jaina.." a voice says. Then I cry. I don't dare open my eyes. I don't want the illusion to end, I don't want to see what I know is true. I would rather live this lie.

"Why?" I whisper in between my sobs as the warm arms hold me even closer. As the word leaves my lips, I feel the warmth fade away as quickly as it came and I am once again wrapped in the never-ending cold.

I hear _his_ voice, "My Lady"

I try to call out to him, but once again I cannot make a sound. "My Lady?"

As I struggle to speak I reach my hands out and try desperately to touch him, even though I know he isn't anywhere near. I need to try though. I need his warmth against me. Slowly, my lips part and I use my last breath to whisper, "Arth-"

My eyes open and I'm in my living quarters in Stormwind Keep. The faint glimmer of the rising sun shines through the edges of my curtains and I sit up slowly holding myself close. I'm still cold. "My Lady," someone says and I turn and see one of the servants standing by the door.

"I-I'm sorry Lady Proudmoore. I didn't want to wake you, but you were crying in your sleep." I notice the young woman shift uncomfortably and bow her head to the ground unsure if she made the right decision in waking me up.

"Oh, thank you. You were not wrong in waking me up. I was having a bad… dream." I smile at the young woman.

"Is there anything that you require, Lady Proudmoore?"

"Please, just Jaina is fine. I feel so old when people call me by my last name!"

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to offend!"

I smile at her, "No need to apologize. You didn't offend in the slightest. I just like to think of myself as younger than I actually am."

"Oh, but My Lady, you are already so young."

Young? Maybe I am. However, I didn't feel young. I've always felt that I skipped my youth. Or rather, my youth was taken from me. When you're the daughter of a Grand Admiral there isn't much time to be a child. And as I grew I became so dedicated to my studies that leisure time was rare. Sometimes even non-existent. There were a few times in my life that I remember feeling young. And that was when I was with…

"A bath." I stop my thoughts.

"I-I'm sorry, My Lady?"

"A bath.. A hot bath..would be nice. Is it possible? I don't wish to take you away from other duties you might have.."

"N-not at all, My Lady. I shall prepare the water. I'll let you know when it is ready." She bows and slowly closes my door.

When the door shuts I remember how much I hate the silence. The last thing I want to do is think. I make my way to my window and pull the curtains back. The sun feels nice against my skin and I stand in the sunlight to bask in its warmth. I look out the window and watch citizens start their morning. Stormwind has always felt like home to me, but it will never come close to feeling like Theramore. I feel an ache in my heart and I shake my head in a desperate attempt to clear my head of any thoughts.

_Theramore… The Alliance… The Horde… Death… Arth-_

"STOP!" I cry out as I burry my head in my lap. Once again I am cold.

"My Lady," calls the servant as she knocks on my door. "I prepared the bath for you. Do you require my assistance?"

I approach the door and open it. "Not at all. I can manage from here." I smile at her and as she leaves I grab my robes and make my way down the hallway. Guards salute and others bow. I nod and smile and as I make my way into the washroom. Upon entering I realize how bad of an idea this was. It's just giving me an opportunity to think. However, I welcome the idea of sitting in the hot water.

Slowly I begin to slide out of my evening robes. As they fall to the floor I look up and see my reflection in the standing mirror beside the tub. My once fair golden hair is now white except for one streak of blonde in the front. And the circles under my eyes are apparent. Not only am I exhausted, but I look it.

After a moment I make my way into the tub without even testing the water first. I wince slightly realizing my error, but welcome the hot water against my skin. As I sit down, I feel the hot water flow in between even crevice of my body. I take in a deep breath and dip my entire head into the water. It only takes a few seconds before I am lost in my thoughts again. As my eyes close, I feel him on top of me holding me close and kissing the nape of my neck. "You taste sweet, my love." He whispers in my ear.

I sigh happily, "Arth-"

Instantly, I come up for air and scold myself. The past isn't something I want to think about now. Nor do I want to think about.. him. It hurts too much.

I let myself soak in the tub until the water becomes cold. It only takes a few moments before I am dressed and ready for the day. A day that I eagerly look forward too. The idea of keeping busy brings me much joy. The last thing I need is time to think.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi everyone! Sorry for the delay in the story. I've actually been doing so much lore research. I want to make sure that I make this story as believable as possible and lore accurate. This is mostly a Jaina and Arthas fic, but please take note that her relationship with Kalecgos will be addressed and mentioned in future chapters. **

**I really hope everyone is enjoying it so far. Again, life I said in chapter 1 I am not a professional writer. There will be grammar and punctuation errors. I ask that you please be forgiving. If anyone is willing to proofread them before I submit chapters I would really appreciate it.**

**Anyway, please send reviews and let me know what you guys think! **

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Chapter 2- A King's Grief

The next few days are long and stressful. There is too much going on in Azeroth to be able to have a moments peace. In the past two days I have already traveled back and forth from Stormwind and Dalaran. Most days, I can summon portals with ease to get me to where I am needed, but I am weak and exhausted. I desperately seek a moments rest but know of the memories that will come and plague my memory. Nevertheless, I take the risk and decide to take a walk.

The sun sets along the Stormwind shore. Leaving a beautiful pink sky. I take a moment to feel the oceans breeze run through my hair before I begin my walk. I don't exactly know where I'm going, but I let my feet carry me in whatever direction. I just need time away from the talk of politics and war. It's a heavy burden that I must carry, but I refuse to pity myself. I am Jaina Proudmoore: Leader of the Kirin Tor and Ruler of Theramore. I sigh. There is no more Theramore. My friends are gone, the citizens are gone.. my home is gone.

As I walk, I feel my heart grow heavy with despair. Not realizing where my feet were taking me, I slowly bring myself to a stop and look up. Before me is the memorial of the Queen.

_"Tiffin Ellerian Wrynn_

_Queen of Stormwind_

_Fair and just. A wit as quick as her_

_smile._

_May the Light inherit your warmth._

_For our world grows cold in your_

_absence."_

I read the inscription on her grave several times. Many times, I have passed the Queen's grave not giving much thought. In the past, I have taken a much younger Anduin to place a flower, but I have never come on my own.

There are two guards that stand beside both sides of the grave. They stand motionless and I begin to wonder if they're statues. Just like them, I stand motionless as I look at the grave. I see a yellow flower placed on the ground and smile. It's probably from Anduin.

Beside me stands a bush with delicate purple flowers. I pluck one from the bush and kneel beside the grave. As I place the flower on the ground I begin to think about how I could have lived a life similar to Tiffin's. Although her time as queen was short, she had a taste of the life that I could have had but refused to have. A life of a noble woman. I could have been a queen. I could have had a child of my own, but I refused it. I dedicated my life to my duties.

Constantly, I wonder if I could have stopped _him_ from his dark descent. Maybe if I loved _him_ more, _he_ wouldn't have made the decisions that _he_ did. I promised that I would never deny _him _and I did. I could have stopped it. And then I could have lived a similar life as Tiffin and lived and ruled with a man that I truly loved.

I'm instantly filled with regret and scold myself. I never will pity myself, but as the days go by it becomes harder and harder.

"Jaina?" says a deep voice.

I immediately jump up out of fright and turn, "King Varian. Wh-what are you doing here?"

Varian laughs slightly at my stupid question, "Well, last time I checked.. Tiffin is still my wife and I am here to visit."

I am shocked to see Varian laugh. The man rarely cracks a smile. I never even thought he was capable of smiling. Although, who wouldn't laugh at a ridiculous question like that?

Varian nods to the guards and they take their leave to give Varian his moment alone. I slowly begin to take my leave as well but stop and turn to him. " Does it ever get easier?" I say as I look to Varian.

Varian is kneeled beside Tiffin's grave with a hand placed on it, "Time never heals the pain. You just learn to hide it as time goes on."

Varian's words hit me like an arrow through the heart. Never once have I seen him as he is now. Most days, Varian and I could never see eye to eye. I saw him as brash, angry, and close-minded while he saw me as stubborn and overbearing. After the fall of Theramore did I begin to understand his feelings towards the Horde. Slowly, Varian and I were beginning to have a mutual understanding of each other. This moment however, is when it dawned on me.

Varian sets a beautiful bouquet of flowers at Tiffin's grave, "I'll always miss her and after the time of her passing I grieved for a long time." Varian pauses for a moment and slowly stands, his eyes still fixed on her grave. "However, I had to be strong for Anduin and Stormwind so I did not allow myself to grieve anymore."

"Your grief is understandable, Varian. She was your queen. You should have given yourself the time you needed."

He looks to me, "And what of you Jaina? Could I not say the same thing for you? Your grief is no less then mine. You loved once too and lost it. Shouldn't you allow yourself to grieve for _him_?"

I am shocked by Varian's words and slowly I feel the pain bottle up inside me, "I will not become a slave to my sorrow."

"Yet, that is what you have become Jaina as well as I" Varian places a hand on my shoulder before mounting his horse and riding back to the Keep.

I am left standing in the cemetery. The sun is already gone and I look up at a dark sky and begin to make my way back to the Keep. The day is over and my body aches for sleep.

When I finally reach my living quarters I immediately disrobe and put on my evening gowns. As I climb into bed I blow out the candle that lights the room. My only source of light is the fully lit moon.

As I rest my head on the pillow I recall Varian's words. They echo in my head over and over again and I refuse to acknowledge the truth in his words. Part of me knows that he is right, but I don't want to feel. I am Jaina Proudmoore: Leader of the Kirin Tor. I must be strong for the people of Azeroth…

Yet, I ache for _his_ touch so badly. As I drift off into sleep I pray that I do not dream of _him_, but at the same time I hope for it. And as my eyes slowly shut my dreams take into darkness once again and I am cold. I hear _his_ voice call to me and I desperately try to call his name, "Ar.. Arth-"


End file.
